This is a brief rundown of my evening last night. For those of you who don't know about Teddy's, it's this super exclusive bar in the Roosevelt in the heart of Hollywood. It's celeb central. Ted Demme's widow ran it for awhile and then she got thrown out for serving underage celebs and other unspecified problems. Now it's reopened and vapid as ever...
[Ed. note- This is actually an e-mail that I sent out to all my friends this morning. It gets the gist of the night, though, and is a pretty genuine reaction. A more detailed account coming soon.]
Yeah, so last night I was lucky enough to get on the guest list at Teddy's in the Roosevelt Hotel. And it delivered on the celeb factor. MK Olsen, Leslie Mann from Knocked Up, Reggie Miller, Tommy Lee, and E from Entourage were all there. I had runs ins with three of those people.
MK OLSEN: We were dancing in front of her table. This girl I was talking to pulled out a cigarette, and I bummed one as well 'cause apparently it's totally cool to smoke inside Teddy's, which has got to be some sort of city violation and I don't know how they get away with it. Anyway, after we finished our cigs, we didn't want to be hethens and just drop them on the nice
floor. The closest ashtray was on MK's table. The girl put her cigarette out first and got a dirty look from MK and then I followed suit and put my cigarette out. As I'm doing it, MK looks directly at me and says, "Is this your table?" It was some cold shit. I was shell shocked, totally caught off guard. I said, "Sorry. Sorry." And ran away like a bitch. I know what you're thinking. I should have said something cool and been like a dick, but I was honestly taken aback by the whole thing.
LESLIE MANN (PAUL RUDD'S WIFE IN KNOCKED UP): If you've seen Knocked Up, you'll know what i'm talking about, but if you haven't, Leslie Mann's character and Katherine Heigl's character go out to a LA club. And at Teddy's, she was there solo with a female friend. It was TOTALLY LIKE THAT MOVIE!!! I had this great joke in my mind that I thought was going to be hilarious about last night being like that movie. But when I said it, she couldn't really hear me, and I think I said something like, "Yeah, it's like that movie. There's a lot of young dudes here." The point is, it went over like a LEAD BALLOON!!! I managed to recover when I said I had seen the movie twice in theaters, which is true, and I told the story about the Olsen twin yelling at me. BUT THEN, I did not segue myself out of the situation appropriately. Honestly, I didn't know where to go. I didn't see anybody from my group, and I didn't have a home base really. I wasn't like right there in their face, but I was standing next to them still. Then her friend waves goodbye to me and is pretty much like get the fuck outta here. She didn't say that, but she was like, "we're just out trying to have a good time, we're celebrating the movie..." shit like that. I was like, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a creep." I reiterated that I wasn't trying to be a creep like five times, I think. Therefore, in fact, probably making me a creep.
REGGIE MILLER: Not as good as the other two encounters. I went up to him and asked how the Pacers did in the draft, and he said they had no picks. I was like "Fuck neither did Cleveland, the east is fucked." He was like "yeah." I told him he has a nice "post career" going on TNT and ESPN. He thanked me. I said I was a Pistons fan. Then he turned away from me, one of his buddies said something to him, and I just ran away. I wanted to ask him about this article in GQ this month that he's quoted in, but I said fuck it.
Overall, Teddy's is pretty sweet. Everyone there is lecherous and an asshole. but that could be said of many a places. I recommend going there at least once. OH, ALSO, Tommy Lee just gets pussy. Period. I was at the bar and I told this guy we gotta learn from the master and I pointed at Tommy who was tonguing down this hot fucking blonde. It was like a movie.
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